I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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