WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
