I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
