did you get engaged???
I just saw a hot homeless man
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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