Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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