Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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