I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
