What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
