I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she told me i tasted like america
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Vodka?
Forever.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
