btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
