1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize