I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
