I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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