WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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