Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
