You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
