Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
