I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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