Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
