I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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