I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Randomize
