See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
