i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
