I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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