don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
