They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
