Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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