remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
