Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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