Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
