You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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