I think I am morally bankrupt
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
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