worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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