I wish I could teleport
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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