and she was petting her beer can
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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