is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
