I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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