I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
