I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
