I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
