sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
