Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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