Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
