i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
