How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
