Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
