Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
