He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
