i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
