Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
